The Pelvic Pain Diaries

I want to challenge something that gets said to women with chronic pelvic pain constantly, usually with a kind of relief in the doctor’s voice, like it’s good news: “Everything looks normal.” I don’t think it’s good news, and I don’t think it means what most of us have been trained to think it means. […]

I’ve written about food, clothes, travel, and flares more times than I can count. I’ve avoided writing about this one for a long time, because it’s the part that feels the most exposing to talk about, even for me. But I don’t think anyone else is saying it plainly, so I’m going to. Chronic pelvic […]

Nobody sends flowers for this. Nobody brings a casserole. There’s no card that says “sorry for your loss” when the loss is your own body, or the version of your life you thought you’d be living by now. But it is a loss. I’ve come to believe that’s exactly what it is, and I don’t […]

I want to push back on a word. Just one word, but it’s done more damage in this space than almost anything else: managing. You’ve probably heard it from every provider you’ve ever seen. “Let’s find a way to manage your symptoms.” “Here’s a management plan.” Managing is treated as the ceiling. The best-case outcome. […]

Nobody talks about this part enough, so I’m going to. Chronic pelvic pain doesn’t just hurt you. It teaches you not to trust the thing that’s hurting. And that distrust becomes its own injury, one that usually gets far less attention than the physical symptoms themselves. By the time most of my clients find me, […]

Almost every woman I’ve worked with has some version of the same two-part story: the pelvic pain, and the anxiety that showed up somewhere alongside it. And almost every one of them has been treated like those are two separate problems that just happen to be occurring in the same body at the same time. […]

I need to say something, and some people in the pelvic pain space are not going to love it. Every protocol, every elimination diet, every “here’s what triggers a flare” list is built around the same instruction: avoid this. Avoid gluten. Avoid dairy. Avoid sitting too long. Avoid tight clothes. Avoid certain positions. Avoid stress. […]

If you’ve been cutting out more and more foods hoping pelvic pain will finally calm down, this is for you. Food can matter — but fear, restriction, and hypervigilance around eating can keep your nervous system sounding the alarm.

If you’re tracking every symptom, following every protocol, and trying to become the “perfect patient,” your nervous system may be reading all that pressure as more threat. Here’s why perfectionism can keep pelvic pain louder — and what actually helps your body feel safe enough to change.

If you’ve ever had a glass of wine because you wanted one night where your pelvic pain was not the main character, I want you to know something right away: I get it. When you live with chronic pelvic pain, drinking is not always about being careless or ignoring your body. Sometimes it is about […]